The following text has not been translated from the original Jockinese, but apparently relates to a drinking and fund-raising tour of Edinburgh in which Sgt Braille was forced [without much protest] to participate.
It was a dreich, dark but thankfully dry October evening when the good people of ARRSE (Scottish Branch), took to the streets of Edinburgh for an evening of merriment, socialising and fundraising. Folk had blown in frae aw the airts – Sainty, Mac, Taboo and Badgirl from the saaarf, Woodandy3 and Little Dave from Midlands area , Fairmaidofperth from Paris (thanks folks for taking the trouble to travel!!) and, of course, our own home grown Jock-arrsers.
First port of call was the Slug and Lettuce for t-shirt issue (Man!– thon red colour wad mak yir e’en bleed) and some alcohol absorbing sustenance. Even I had my own crawl t-shirt and was very grateful that mine was white! It was commented that only in Scotland would the majority of the men be wearing “skirts”, while the ladies favoured trousers! Special mention must go to Mac and Sainty for baring their knees for the occasion. Owl made the BIG mistake of proffering her ARRSE challenge coin – well done folks, the challenge was duly answered and a round of drinks was necessary.
Once bellies were lined, it was off out into the night to meet up with the remainder of the crawl participants. It must be said that the red t-shirts made it very easy to find the rest of the group in the crowded streets, and also attracted much attention from the public.
Several wee drams later, it was time for some serious fundraising! Each participant had brought along a gift for the opposite sex – a sort of “secret pumpkin”, since it was Hallowe’en. These were placed into bags and everyone paid to have a lucky dip. It was obvious that most people had taken advantage of the anonymous nature of this game – I had to close my sensitive Bear eyes at the contents of some of the packages! One of the more interesting “prizes” was a pheasant which had only been shot 3 hours previously.
Then followed the raffle, for a Personalised bottle of Tullibardine whisky and the cute little Holidays4heroes bear. Owl Junior drew the raffle, the winners being Mac and Sainty.
A route march/tour of Edinburgh came next, lead by Glimmer and resulted in most of the ladies complaining of sore feet the following day. We all ended up in the Grassmarket which was absolutely heaving!!! This had an excellent effect on our fundraising – many people were literally pressing money into our hands. Much “Crawl Memorabilia” was sold, including devil horns, halos and tails and also several of the red t-shirts.
All, in all, it was a most successful night – new friendships were forged, old friendships rekindled, and a stunning £650 raised for holidays4heroes.
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Holidays 4 Heroes is an informal group of people that assists wounded service personnel and their families get a precious break from the routine of rehab, hospital appointments and visits to welfare offices by facilitating holidays away from it all in accommodation donated by our sponsors in the UK and abroad. 
Deals with the cases that either lie outside the normal remit of the main Service Charities, or require a faster response than they can usually provide. Sometimes the cases require financial assistance, a little bit of nudging in the right direction for long-term help, or the application of a bit of expertise.